Shut Up And Go Back To The Office

I don’t even know why this is still up for discussion.

As recently as last week, the Financial Times advocated for remote work as “a chance to create a better society,” while NPR and The Washington Post also championed work-from-home, albeit on the grounds that it reduces one’s carbon footprint.

Elon Musk was critized for calling working from home “morally wrong.” Amazon employees staged a walk-out after it’s CEO, Andy Jassy, said that “it’s probably not going to work out” unless they come in “at least three days a week.”

According to a Stanford University study, full remote work-from-home has settled post-pandemic around 28%, with hybrid/flexible work at 50%. Commercial real estate is crashing. In a recent Gallup poll, 92% of respondents said they expect their employers to be flexible about remote work. That’s absurd.

If you are established and successful, and are looking for flexibility that aligns with your life priorities, then fine. You’ve earned it.

However, if you are just starting out or still building a career, especially on Wall Street, and you expect remote work and flexible hours, you’re an idiot. Quit now.

It’s not even complicated:

Training, Learning, and Resources
Simply put, there are some things that cannot be learned in your pajamas waiting for a Zoom call to begin. You need to be shoulder-to-shoulder with peers and seniors, watching how people interact with their colleagues and clients, listening in on phone calls, and asking for help.

Stay informed in real time. Watch what seniors do with their time, what they read, how they dress, and how they talk.

In the office, you are not only better-resourced, you are surrounded (at least in finance and tech) by many of the smartest and most ambitious people on the planet.

Productivity
A 2023 study from MIT found productivity dropped 18% when people worked from home.

Presumably as a means of subconsciously feigning productivity, remote workers spend twice as long as office workers in group meetings. What a waste of time. Of course, most of those meetings should have been emails.

The propensity to slack off when unsupervised is human nature. Golf is a dying sport; yet, attendance at golf courses is up 52 percent since 2020, with almost all the gain coming on weekdays.

Even owning a dog is a distraction; the same study showed that the sound of a dog barking causes, on average, a ten-minute drop in productivity.

Mentorship
In today’s work environment, having the right mentor opens doors for opportunities, promotions, and protection. In the era of DEI, this is more important than ever. Identify the star. Seek that person out, and hitch your wagon to them.

Understanding The Culture
You need to be present to understand the culture of the firm you work for, not just to be a culture-carrier and future leader, but also, to know if it’s the right fit or not, professionally and personally.

Face Time
In a University of California study of “face time bias,” when people are seen in the office, even when nothing is known about their competence, they are perceived as more reliable and dependable.

I wrote, as a joke, “if your boss smokes, smoke.” However, there are actual studies that support this. Looking at data from large financial institutions, the National Bureau of Economic Research found that when employees smoke with their managers, they are more likely to get promoted faster. It’s an extra half hour of one-on-one bonding time.

Bonding
Happy hour is important. Great things used to happen when colleagues gathered around in a more relaxed environment. Ideas are shared. Bonds are formed. Gossip is traded. Greivances are aired. Solutions are found. Alcohol, and a more off-the-record atmosphere, is a conducive catalyst.

Of equal importance, you get to you know your colleagues more intimately, as human beings, discovering common interests outside of work. It’s also an opportunity to demonstrate to seniors in a casual, non-work environment that you are interesting and socially competent.

Before I’m taking any junior on a business trip, I want to know that I can sit next to them on a plane or in a hotel bar. Most junior level positions revolve around monkey work; likeability and social skills are as important as competence.

The Shared Experience
Camaraderie is important. It builds trust - the late nights, dinners at your desk, fire drills, missed family events . You need to pay your dues to earn the respect of your seniors.

Unplanned Opportunities
When banking went business casual, client-facing opportunities sometimes came my way simply because I had a suit on. Today, if you’re not physically in the office, you miss out on last minute client lunches and impromptu drinks with the boss.

Understanding Nuance and Office Politics
Identify, emulate, and align yourself with the most-respected seniors. Learn from them and develop the soft cues of business, in terms of how they interact with clients and colleagues. In the world of ChatGPT, human connectivity and EQ-related skills are of increasing importance.

Job Security
The economy is cooling. The popular buzz phrases of recent years — The Great Resignation and Quiet Quitting — are fading. We are entering a “keep your head down and work” phase that most people are too young to remember.

Remote employees will be the first ones culled. Why pay someone six figures to join a Zoom call from Boulder or Austin when you can hire a PhD in Mumbai for a fraction of the cost?

As an indication of this, even Google has begun including office attendance in its employees’ performance reviews.

Your Significant Other
Consultations with divorce attorneys rose 90% during the pandemic. Legal Templates, which sells legal forms written by licensed attorneys, reported a 34% increase in sales of its divorce agreements after 2020.

Not only is time in and around office, interacting with people in real life, good for creativity and spontaneous idea generation, the distance and healthy separation is also good for your personal life.

My solution for junior level employees (under 30) is simple. If you are serious about your career, employ a a hybrid model: Work from the office Monday to Friday, and work from home in the evenings and on weekends.

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John LeFevre is the creator of @GSElevator and the author of the New York Times bestselling book, Amazon Book of the Month, and TIME Book of the summer, Straight To Hell: True Tales of Deviance, Debauchery, And Billion-Dollar Deals.